This is the first in my multiple part series entitled “On X” in which I will be pissing on something that has annoyed, infuriated, or just plain pissed me off. Debuting this series is airplane travel which could do some serious improvements . They should first clean the bloody bathroom more than once a month. Quickly followed by a swift kick in the nads to whoever designed the aisle upon which we are supposed to walk down. MAKE THEM WIDER. Fracking economy. To be honest, I went through first class as I exited the plane, and the aisle wasn’t any wider, so clearly this was a design decision that shouldn’t have made it past concept stage. And the chairs didn’t bloody recline. What was with that?! I’m have a foot taller than everyone on the plane and I couldn’t recline the chair so I wouldn’t have to play Squinty-at-da-Screeny with my laptop.
Designer A: “You know, these aisles are clearly too wide. We could totally fit another seat in there.”
Designer B: “But aren’t those the same seats that only babies fit comfortably into?”
Designer A: “Yup. We’re only going to have people with no asses on our flights because we are Cathay Pacific.”
Designer B: “But, these will be flying from Canada and the United States where people do in fact have asses.”
Designer A: ” But I hate kittens Bob. And when I hate kittens, people will get tiny ass seats and no aisle space.”*
*Please note that the writer of this article did in fact fit into his seat just fine and didn’t have to squeeze down the aisles. However, some very fat people with very distinct ass cracks did.